Tests are defined as; “take measures to check the quality, performance, or reliability of (something), esp. before putting it into widespread use or practice.” Sounds pretty simple huh?
To be honest, I have always had trouble with tests. Basically, I suck at tests. The kind that you study for … hate ‘em. Medical tests, didn’t think they bothered me much. I never had to study for them and I never failed one. I liked those kind of tests, that was until a couple years ago. Maybe I need to start studying for these things.
Yesterday I had one of those medical tests. Cardiac stress test to be a little more specific. Last time I did this test it lead me to by-pass surgery. It was a pretty intense and no-fun adventure that I would be all too happy not to experience again. Needless to say, this week hasn’t been the most enjoyable one. Stressing about the stress test. Funny thing was, my mom told me to just relax one hour before the test, so that the test will come out good. Hum, thought the goal was to make sure nothing is wrong and if there is let’s fix it. She means well.
So, the test. It sucks to do a stress test. They bring you into this room that usually is pretty much on the cool to cold side temperature wise. Because nothing is more comfortable then having the headlights on while being tested to see if your heart is working. There are usually three medical staff in the room with you during the test. Funny thing about that is, getting them all in the room at the same time to start the stupid test. You would think these people are so busy doing so many other things. Everyone has a specific thing they do. One is the EKG person, who puts all the wires on you. They slap some alcohol on you, then they sand you down and put the sticky leads on. Then runs a pre-test on you to make sure everything is working correctly and to get a baseline reading for that day on you. It is compared to your older EKGs to see if there are any changes. Did you know, that once you have a heart attack it affects your EKG forever? It is a fingerprint of your heart – wild. Then you have the sonogram person, who spreads cold jelly on you and takes a bunch of pictures of you pre-test as well. Personally, the sonogram is never fun because they always want to break one of my ribs. Finally, you have the conductor per se, the nurse in charge. They handle pretty much everything else from taking your blood pressure throughout the test to the IV and over all makes sure everything is happening safely and everyone is doing what they should be.
My test this time was more of a “pain” test. Meaning that they wanted to see how I am in regular life. I took my meds before the test to show how I am most of the time. There are usually two ways to end this test. The most common is when you hit your target heart beat, which is determined by your age. Mine is 141 bpm (beats per minute.) The other way is pain. Is your heart in pain, can you not breathe, or just muscle failure (you just can’t do it anymore)? The pain one is pretty much the crappier of the two.
Now, they put you on this treadmill that starts up at a nice walk. Every couple of minutes it gets fast as well as it inclines. All the while you are wired up, looking like a cable guy’s worst nightmare on feet. During my test they were happy to see I hit my target heart rate. Honestly, that wasn’t really hard to do since my heart rate was high to start with. Around the fourth speed increase I was pretty much done. Huffing and puffing like I had run a marathon, they shut the machine down and got me laying down in under four seconds to take another complete series of sonogram pictures, which had to be done in under a minute. All that to be told, the doctor will call you next week with the results. UGH!
